This episode of The Soul Centre Podcast was made in partnership with Scotts House Media & The Dilly Club in Nassau Bahamas. Join Rowena Poitier-Sutherland as Kaden Kristian Jones, an extraordinary author and film student, takes centre stage. At just 18 years old, Kaden shares his journey, from the challenges of being the brother of a famed NBA player to grappling with the absence of his father. But that's just the beginning. Brace yourself for a candid exploration of masculinity, sexuality, and faith within the Christian community, where Kaden fearlessly delves into the complexities of hetero and LGBTQIA+ identities, including transgender experiences among youth. With wisdom beyond his years and a heart as vast as the ocean, Kaden Kristian Jones invites listeners to join him on a journey of growth, resilience, and unapologetic authenticity. In this episode the discuss: - Kaden's experience as an author at 18 years old - Being the brother of a famed NBA player - Coping with the absence of his father - The role of men in society - Sexuality within the Christian community - Exploring hetero and LGBTQIA+ identities, including transgender experiences among youth - Dynamics of family relationships - Transforming mindset and finding harmony through love and self-discovery Hosted on Simplecast. See simplecast.com for more information. 🌐 Follow: - IG @kadenkristian Follow TSCP: Watch Episode: Youtube @ https://bit.ly/SoulCentre IG @soulcentrepodcast FB @thesoulcentrepodcast TIKTOK @thesoulcentrepodcast TWItter/X @the_soulcentrepodcast Tune in for an inspiring conversation about resilience, leadership, and the power of community! #SoulCentrePodcast #KadenKristian #CommunityImpact #LeadershipJourney
>> Rowena: Breathe in, breathe out. You're listening to the Soul Centre. Come with me, Rowena Poitier Sutherland, and get centered. Today, our guest is none other than Kayden Kristian Jones.
>> Kayden: Thank you for having me.
>> Rowena: Welcome to the Soul Centre, really excited to have you. You are a force to be reckoned with in your own right. A lot of people will be introduced to you. You come from a very big family. So your brother is Chi Jones, NBA player for the Charlotte Hornets. And I am familiar with being in a celebrity family myself. And I guess I want to dive right in, I want to find out what, what it's like navigating that, but in your own right, being at 18 years old, you are such an activist, you're an entrepreneur, you're an author, you have all of these things going on for you. And you also have to navigate that in those family dynamics. I'm curious.
>> Kayden: With my brother regarding his success in the NBA, I think one thing is definitely emboldened by like me to do better, do more, and to really go out for what I want. I think an NBA career is a once in a lifetime opportunity. And that doesn't happen for many people. And I was able to witness his discipline, his hard work, and all the time that he put into working on his craft and perfecting it. And the only thing I saw was reciprocation, you know, I was like, that's what I need to do. And I was like, if I want to be a success, you got to put in the same type of work ethic. And it's just like watching the people around you. And I think that's the thing that happens with a lot of younger siblings is why they mature a little bit more. I'm not trying to say I'm more mature. But I think that's what happens as they watch their older siblings grow up and do these things. And then you adopt those habits. And so navigating that has only been to inspire me and keep me pushing, I think with like social media and stuff and people having comments on his game or like how they think he should play. And it's like, you don't know too much about the NBA and stuff like that. But I feel like that's something that they may go, he may deal with a lot. And me personally, I scrolled to the comments, I looked through all of them or apply a lot. And it's like, I shouldn't but you gotta defend just like y'all don't know what you're talking about.
>> Rowena: Yeah, that's, that's your bro?
>> Kayden: Because like, so that's kind of the diet, the dynamic between us two and the whole situation.
>> Rowena: That's beautiful.. So who is Kaden Kristian?
>> Kayden: Well, I'm still figuring that one out. So I was still figuring that one out. I think, even in terms of what I want to do with the rest of my life, I think like I'm going to school for film and television production And...
>> Rowena: Congratulations,
>> Kayden: ...thank you, attending SCAD. YesD. So I'm going there for film and television production. And even though I'm doing that, and I'm trying to pursue that career, I don't know if that's what I'm gonna be doing for the rest of my life. I don't know if that's what I'm going to be doing in the next two years because I definitely set a plan on starting my career, as soon as possible. I don't think you know, there's any timeframe of when someone should start being an impact to the economy, to the world, to their communities. So I'm thinking like, next year, I have something planned. I'm working on things to get done. How I want to impact the world around me. So I don't know who I am right now. I know. I'm an author. I know I love to write. I know I'm very emotional, I'm very sensitive. And, you know, I love to create, that's what I know right now.
>> Rowena: I mean, Kaden, it's, it's borderline weird, and I mean this in the best way possible, how mature you are, it freaks me out. But it's, it's refreshing. And you've written this book called "18 Poetry Prose Drama", for $17:279. Where can people purchase this book? And what is this journey? Because it's quite a journey. What is this journey about?
>> Kayden: They can purchase the book on Kadenchristian.com, that's kadenkristian.com. So it's $17:279, and you can purchase it there. We've sold 100 books so far. So I was really happy to do that. And the journey was I started it last year. So actually, it was pretty fast. But I started it last year, summer, around this time actually, in the summer, and the first poem I had written was "Poetry I Love You." And it was just kind of talking about my journey with poetry. And the culmination of the piece is when you kind of read the whole thing together is like you look at the poetry. The poetry is a bit more crass. It's a bit open, vulnerable, kind of sad, and that it has like very depression undertones. And then in the middle, you hit the prose, where it's kind of aspirational. It talks about personal philosophies, how you want to go about life, how you view life and how you view the world around you. And then the dramas kind of take what I've learned and apply those lessons and it kinds of puts it in a very real and serious setting so that people can relate to it and see themselves in the other stories as well as my poems. But writing has always been a part of my life. I think I've been writing poetry from like time if I was mad at my mummy, or if my mom is mad at me, I'd write a poem like apologizing or something.
>> Rowena: Wow!
>> Kayden: I mean I love you, or like Mother's Day would always be type, the kind of way that I would express myself through poetry. But poetry has always been my safe haven, always been a place to express myself and kind of get an understanding of my emotions, my feelings, the world, like, just make sense of everything that's happening, because a lot's going on always.
>> Rowena: Yeah, and the lyricism of this book is quite dynamic and moving and you spoke to the peaks and the valleys. And that sounds like your life's journey. Talk to me a little bit about where that comes from. You said you started with depression, and then you work your way into the aspirational and then to the drama.
>> Kayden: Yes, with my life story, personally, is, I've just, I don't know, I feel like I moved to the states and nothing was really happening. I feel like my life really started at 15 years old.
>> Rowena: So, for those just tuning in and just meeting you, you're from The Bahamas...
>> Kayden: I'm from The Bahamas
>> Rowena: ...and you moved to the United States,
>> Kayden: Yes, I moved to the United States at like seven. And I lived there for about four years. And then I moved back to The Bahamas, because we lost our visas. And so, so much was broken up within like just our family dynamic financial situation. And it was just a different experience. Because it's not something I feel like everybody has to deal with. It's not like a part of the childhood experience, you know. So when I lost my visa, I'd just got accepted into the School for the Arts for theater acting. And that was I was like, oh, I want to do that, I was gonna go to a middle school for it, and hopefully go to college for that. And I'd just gotten accepted to it. And it seemed like finally, you know, I was getting like, what I wanted out of being in America. And so then we lost our visas. And we had to come back to The Bahamas. And it kind of felt like we were kind of stuck here in a sense, because it wasn't a place that we wanted to be. And it wasn't a place that I wanted to flourish. And that's kind of where my love for The Bahamas stems from, though like my love for it to change. And I want for it to change, like, I want it to change so much so that other people can grow here. And then our talents can be expressed and spotlighted here. But those are the peaks and the valleys and like mainly my depressions are more like emotional, kind of like family abandonment. Feelings of just like impostor syndrome, not feeling good enough, not feeling like you are the most important person. And you know, there's nothing wrong with being in the shadows or not being like phenomenal. But for me personally, it's something that I feel compelled to be. So I always strive for excellence and like everything that I do, and I strive to be the best or whatever I put my mind to. And you know, I think some people need to be okay with being mediocre. You know, I think that's fine. But it's something I kind of fear. And I think it's a fear that I have to get over. But it's definitely a fear.
>> Rowena: So where does this just kind of backtracking where does this imposter syndrome come from? What was that about?
>> Kayden: I did speech and debate for two years in...in...in the US at my school, university school for 11th and 12th grade. And I performed really well. I did extremely well like in competition with judges. I won Tournament of Champions national tournament for program oral interpretation, which is a combination of poetry, prose and drama. And ironically enough, but I won my event in that and I was doing so well. But I was doing it like all by myself because I didn't have like a very structured coaching system at my school for speech or for that event in particular. And I was kind of just riding the wave and learning all the ropes along as I go. And it was just kind of, it just felt like it was all happening so fast. And people really loved it. So I always felt like am I really doing this properly? Am I doing this right? Am I just getting by because my outfit's nice? So am I just getting by because I'm black and in America and they want to you know, lend a branch. So it's kind of just always feeling like, what you're doing is not adequate to the environment that you're around. But I slowly got over that kind of feeling because I was like, you know, this is what life has given me. Take it, because I think a lot of it is faith and a lot of it is God, you know, bestowing His blessings upon you and being like that, that type of prayer favier...favor. I think my mother prays for that so often. My church prays for that so often favor and just having favor in the people that you interact with. And so that's where that kind of dwindled down and I just had to come to an understanding of where that was coming from. And so now I kind of embrace, you know, the things that I'm good at and yeah.
>> Rowena: Wowe. So I want to pivot to mentorship. You're in Nassau, Bahamas for a very special reason. Yes, Roots of Change, an organization that I am proudly a part of, has launched an initiative called the Mirror Mirror Program, which is a three year mentorship program for boys. So you're the youngest mentor in this program, which is incredible. These kids are 11 to 15 years old. This program was established by visionary Melissa Allen Menard. So thank you for helping her realize this vision and helping the team realize this vision. What do you hope to get out of this program yourself? And what do you hope the boys get?
>> Kayden: I hope to get out of it myself in a sense of but still like looking at The Bahamas as a whole, I hope to get a sense of like a completion and growth within our community. I think with a lot of my friends, I went to Sacano I went to QC and a lot of my friends there, I would always talk about like young men. And I was like, why are boys and like men, so kind of not okay with talking about their emotions, or just don't treat women with the respect that I feel we should be treating women with, which is just simple respect. And I remember I was talking to my friends about that kind of thing. So that's what I'm hoping to get out of this program. And I'm hoping that the young men get that they can do anything that they want to do. I recently applied to college, and I had to write a few college applications and little supplemental essays. And I talked about wanting to start something in The Bahamas, where we help people realize their dreams and their visions and their successes that they could have. Because I think in The Bahamas, it's kind of stifling to be here because there aren't opportunities left, right and centre for every single person. And a lot of people are disadvantaged. And I think bringing something here that can give students and young people a place to feel vindicated, a place to feel like seen and where they can put whatever talents they have to use to kind of show them where they can make an impact in the world and where they can be a success. Because I noticed we don't have a lot of industries here in The Bahamas. No, we don't have a film industry, like not a strong one that's producing things like left, right or centre. We don't have feature films out the wazoo. And it's not saying that we have to have that, but we could have it. And I think we have so much talent around us that can't go overseas, that we can use here and utilize it here. And I think that's what's necessary for The Bahamas. And I want these young men to understand that they could achieve anything they want. And that they could strive like for dreams like unfurled, because I didn't think... well actually like it. I didn't think I would publish a book. I'm not this young, but I always like wanted to as a kid.
>> Rowena: Again, not normal, just the excellent idealist.
>> Kayden: I just know what I wanted as a kid. And I just dreamed, like, so big, I dreamed so large. And a lot of people are like, Kayden you're really optimistic. I was like, I don't know if it's really optimistic. But I just, I have faith in God for one and I just believe in...I just believe that anything is possible. Like genuinely, it's just like if you put your work into it, and if you want it bad enough, I think it could happen. And that's not only manifestation, but that's also just letting your work ethic show for itself, and showing up for yourself. And I think that's what this book is. And like everything that I've accomplished is just me saying, I'm going to put in the work to make sure that I could get up the success because nobody else is going to do it for me. And sometimes we feel like we need other people to help us. And I think we are a community and we should do that. But we also have to be able to help ourselves first.
>> Rowena: Exactly.
>> Kayden: So that's just how I kind of look at it, from my perspective.
>> Rowena: Yeah. And you know, mentorship is about relationships. And you and I were discussing your relationship with your father. And we like to talk about the beautiful airy fairy things, mentorship, we're gonna change their lives, and that's what you want to do. But there's another side to that. There are challenges and there are people who don't have the best relationships with men in their lives, some will have really great relationship with men's...men in their lives. But as a young man, dealing with these challenges and understanding your emotions and relationship, what, what advice can you give to them? And how are you navigating these relationships for yourself?
>> Kayden: I think for parents, for one, like single mothers, single fathers, whatever the case scenario is, I think show up for your child, always be there for them. Talk to them and try to get an understanding of how they're feeling about the situation. I think divorce is a pretty big thing. And I came, like I grew up while my parents were divorced, like they were already divorced. And so I grew up into that. And so it's a very different dynamic to kind of... because you're not getting a balance of mother and father. And sometimes that doesn't happen in the house anyway. But don't put the pressure on your child to be the one to initiate every conversation with the other parent that's not always present. And it was not like my dad was like, never present, he was there. He came like now and then but I feel like he wasn't a consistent person within my life. And I think that I shouldn't have to be the one to you know, initiate every single thing and I shouldn't have to be the one to want that relationship if I don't want it. And I think I've been, I've benefited from not having him as a consistent in my life. Not to say that if he was there, I would be a terrible person and he would have nothing to do. I think honestly, maybe I would have a different perspective, but I think I wouldn't be the person I am today without those experiences, without those losses, without the hurt, without the pain, without the abandonment that I feel, and it's like, regardless of whether or not that is what happened, this is how I'm receiving it and how I'm responding to it. So this is how my emotions are handling the situation. And so even to kids, I think you have to find love somewhere. And a lot of people don't have good father figures because the man, the stereotypical man in The Bahamas is not like, super successful, making lots of money and like, really respectful. It's like, that's not the stereotype for men in The Bahamas. You talk to anybody, it's hard to women, with women my age, they're not going to say the most favorable things about men in The Bahamas. And I don't think that's a good thing for our community. Because we need to be able to rely on every asset that we have, and men need to be better in general, like worldwide, men just need to be better. And we have to put in the work to realize the disadvantages that we are contributing to our society not contributing, debilitating our society, like patriarchy, and not respecting women as other human beings, I feel like we see a lot of just like sex symbols and...
>> Rowena: toxic masculinity,
>> Kayden: ...very toxic masculinity and homophobia. It's just like, we don't have to agree with all those things. But we have to understand that we have a life, other people have theirs. And the only thing I think you should be doing as a person in society is making sure that you grow first, and then try and change the world around you. And we have to also realize that we need to grow. And I talk a bit about that in my book with authenticity, and trust - what's the word that I use - authenticity, transparency and vulnerability. I talk about those three things. And I think those things are how you elevate yourself and how you become a better person for your society. And just showing up for yourself So yeah.
>> Rowena: Yeah, you mentioned that's a mouthful. That was great. You mentioned homophobia earlier. So as we talk about mentorship, and modeling what it is to be a man and healthy masculinity, how do you navigate that in this current climate? What's your advice? And what's your, what are your views on that?
>> Kayden: My views on healthy masculinity and also toxic masculinity and homophobia and all those things. We have gay people in The Bahamas, we have an LGBTQ community in The Bahamas, I'm sure like, I went to school with a few people that were a part of the LGBTQ community. And I think what's important to understand is that those are their lives. And that's how they want to, you know, interact with the world that they're in, and that's how they want to live. And I think that men, Bahamian men are so kind of, I don't want to be derogatory, but a bit fragile in their masculinity and not secure enough to feel as though they can be whoever they want to be. When it comes to femininity. I think it is something that women do appreciate. I think women appreciate a guy who is in touch with his feminine side, is able to, you know, be clean and be organized. And I think those type of things are so heavily associated with femininity that it's almost like frowned upon. I was like a pretty organized kid. Like I had my own pencil powders major, like pencils, pens, things and they have my books...
>> Rowena: You were always this way.
>> Kayden: ...color coordinated, like and people always do like make fun of it. And I was like, it was like you do girly and I was like, I just like my organization. And I think you should just be like, okay with, you know, who you are and how you are. And I'm like, I'm, I'm aware that I'm pretty feminine. I care about fashion, I care about things that are stereotypically women, and female. And I don't think that makes me any less of a man. I don't think that makes me any less secure in my masculinity. And I think that's how all Bahamians need to look at it and how the whole world needs to view it. Because you know somebody that's gay, because you like something that's a little bit more feminine doesn't automatically change your sexuality. And you need to be comfortable around other people because they're not impacting your lives. And I just see so many people focused on it. And every time I see like I'm around somebody, and I hear it, and I know them, I'm always like, it's never that serious, just it's not that deep. It really isn't. And a part of The Bahamas, and I know what you're saying and, but a part of The Bahamas is kind of issue with homophobia is kind of the church is just kind of like, um, the church kind of condemns it. And it's not the very best thing for us or for our community. Because the church is supposed to be a place of love and fondness and if that's your belief, and you feel like homophobia should be shunned upon then, you know, an AA that person in coming out of that, not that I support that but to that at least it's better than anything else. But I think that's the way to go about things because I feel like we're weaponizing Christianity and that's not what Christianity's about. Christianity is about fondness, your connection with God, your relationship with God and growing with Him. And you know, Him aiding in your life and you aiding and His and worshipping Him and just, you know, respect and I think that's what we need in the Bahamian community. It's too much hate, too much disarrayy. So...
>> Rowena: I think you would have, I'd be interested to see how this episode is received, I think you'd have a lot of pushback, because I know, you know that the church does condemn homosexuality. And there is a space for this conversation. So I appreciate your perspective. So what do you have to say to those people who are saying, you know, it's a threat to our values, and it's a slippery slope? If you make concessions and space for this one thing, then how far does it go? How, when does it end? There's this big conversation now about transgender children. And you know, like, what is too far? Is that, is that healthy to promote, you know, them changing their genitalia at such a young age? Are they able to make those types of decisions? And because there was space made for the LGBTQI+ community, you know, did we open this door? And is it a door that we want to go down? Or is it healthy, and we should embrace it and allow people that make their own decisions? It's just a really interesting conversation. And I know, there's a lot of pushback. So what are your views on that?
>> Kayden: I don't remember who said the quote, but there was somebody who was like, a great man or a woman, but a great man focuses on their growth and you know, not other people's ownp. Right? And I think that's like a great quote. And I don't agree with it completely in every single context. But I think within this context, it is other people's lives don't affect ours directly. And especially with the choices that they make. I think I understand the idea of it being a slippery slope, but people are going to do it anyway. And how much is going to happen to people because they can't express themselves fully, and truly. And I think that people are committing suicide, because they feel not seen. And they're not appreciated and accepted in our society. And I feel like that's just just as concerning, and suicide is also a sin. So there's right and wrong. We make a lot of mistakes in life, we do a lot of wrong things. But I don't think that means that anybody should be condemned for it, or ostracized or anything like that. Because we should just be in a world of love, it really could just be so simple. If it could just be love, peace and happiness, rainbows, butterflies, like come on, like, it really could happen for us. But I think we just have to learn to accept other people. And on the topic of transgender people, I've talked about this quite a bit. I have different views. Like I'm not super one way and the other, I'm more so like, grounded in like the centre. And I pick and choose kind of what I think makes sense. Because I think that's the world that we live in. It shouldn't be so strict. I think that you should allow children to make their own decisions, of course, because that's a part of life. But when it comes to transitioning, and gender reassignment, it is I feel like a little bit dangerous, because you're still finding yourself. You're still figuring out who you are, who you want to be, and your goals and paths in life. And I think from that standpoint alone, making a big decision as such as your gender and your identity is pretty huge, that you could change at any moment. Um, I think the age of like 18 and above, like, you should be able to make your decision then. But for right now, I think just be there for your child, allow your child to express themselves whichever way they like. And I think gender affirming care reaffirms gender roles and gender stereotypes that only girls can like dolls, and only boys can like the color blue, it's like, just allow the world to be what it is. And that's fluid and accepted. And we're just a part of nature, and we grow, and we change, and we transition into different beings. And I think that's kind of what life is about, you know, becoming a new growing, being who you want to be. So allow people to do that. But I think also care and love is indeed in the process. And when it comes to addressing homophobia, and transphobia, and the LGBTQ community within The Bahamas, which is such a thick, heavy topic here. You know, it's not that deep. It's not that deep, it's sexuality. It's how people feel about something. I'm very strong with my faith in God, I'm very much about religious beliefs. And that doesn't diminish the fact that I, you know, also support people who want to do whatever they want with their lives regarding sexuality, and gender.
>> Rowena: You keep using this word Love and Love oozes from your being. So thank you so much for being who you are. And being your authentic self. That love is beautifully expressed in your book 18 Poetry Prose Drama, which people can purchase at -
>> Kayden: Kadenkristian.com. That's kadenkristian.com.
>> Rowena: Thank you for getting centered with me Kaden.
>> Kayden: Thank you so much, I appreciate it.
>> Rowena: That's the Soul Centre Podcast. Hopefully you've gotten centered with me.